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Ann Atomy

"The lady with all the answers doesn't have the answer to this one" - that was Eppie Lederer aka Ann Landers' wistful comment on her 1975 divorce. That always stuck with me.

This Jewish identical twin (her twin was Dear Abby!) entered the advice game when her husband moved to Chicago and her efforts to get involved in local Democratic party politics ran into a brick wall because of differences in style and attitude.

As a teen I thought she was very wise and progressive, willing to take stands against domestic abuse and rape, advocating for therapy and counseling, and showing early acceptance of being gay as something normal in nature.

In retrospect, I realize she could also be flippant and insensitive. I remember a deeply depressed woman who had lost a lifetime of clippings and memorabilia when her house burned down. When asked if she'd ever lost something of value, Ann curtly said 'yes, my parents, now what were you saying about your clippings?' Obviously, that woman had deeper troubles and needed help, not a dismissive reproach.

The unusual thing was that she often owned up to her mistakes when readers took her to task, typically saying she deserved 'thirty lashes with a wet noodle' or something to that effect.

When she announced her divorce, she said she wouldn't consider having sex outside of marriage. She died 27 years later without ever re-marrying.