Monday, September 18, 2006
From The Onion, my favorite feature, “What Do YOU Think?
Question: Over the last decade, American work productivity has increased 33%, while wages have only increased 11%. What do you think?”
Answer 1: " Look, I've only got five minutes for my break, and I'm not about to waste it talking to you. "
Answer 2: I love the notion that workers are somehow supposed to be rewarded for increased productivity. Do you see any of those CEO's being rewarded for being more productive? No. They are being rewarded for absolutely no reason. "
Answer 3: " So if I reduce my productivity 20%, it'll be like getting an automatic raise. Which will come in handy when I'm fired for taking 3-day weekends. "
Question: People who worked or lived near Ground Zero are demanding health-care for illnesses related to the poor air quality after the attacks. What do you think?”
Answer 1: " I think we should FedEx an itemized invoice for all of those people's medical expenses to Osama bin Laden. Then, when he goes to sign for it—bam! We grab him!"
Answer 2: This is a very serious issue. My cousin was a first responder, and he recently succumbed to a particularly bad case of Freedom Lung. "
Answer 3: " I guess we know whose side of the war on terror these folks' alveoli are on. "
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Question: Over the last decade, American work productivity has increased 33%, while wages have only increased 11%. What do you think?”
Answer 1: " Look, I've only got five minutes for my break, and I'm not about to waste it talking to you. " Answer 2: I love the notion that workers are somehow supposed to be rewarded for increased productivity. Do you see any of those CEO's being rewarded for being more productive? No. They are being rewarded for absolutely no reason. " Answer 3: " So if I reduce my productivity 20%, it'll be like getting an automatic raise. Which will come in handy when I'm fired for taking 3-day weekends. "Question: People who worked or lived near Ground Zero are demanding health-care for illnesses related to the poor air quality after the attacks. What do you think?”
Answer 1: " I think we should FedEx an itemized invoice for all of those people's medical expenses to Osama bin Laden. Then, when he goes to sign for it—bam! We grab him!" Answer 2: This is a very serious issue. My cousin was a first responder, and he recently succumbed to a particularly bad case of Freedom Lung. " Answer 3: " I guess we know whose side of the war on terror these folks' alveoli are on. "this entry's permalink
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